Offenses, like paper cuts, are often subtle and nearly invisible to the eye, when
ignored they can fester into a pain that may lead to a deep resentment. Whether it’s a thoughtless comment about someone's race or a dismissive interruption, these actions leave a mark. Acknowledging and addressing these offenses can be challenging but necessary for personal growth and fostering healthy relationships.
The Unexpected Offense
The story of being interrupted during an intense conversation is a familiar one. We’ve all experienced moments where someone’s behavior makes us feel insignificant. This experience can be even more disheartening when it comes from a person in a position of authority. The power dynamics at play often exacerbate the feeling of being undervalued.
Reflecting on the Reaction
When faced with these subtle offenses, our immediate reaction might be anger or frustration. It’s easy to jump to conclusions and assume the worst about the other person’s intentions. However, taking a step back to reflect on the situation can provide clarity. Is it possible that the person who interrupted was unaware of their behavior? Could there be a different way to address the issue that doesn’t escalate the tension?
A Faith-Based Approach
Guidance can be found in our Bible teachings for those who desire to grow in Christian maturity. In James 1:19, the Bible’s advice to be “quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry” offers a framework for dealing with offenses. It encourages us to approach situations gracefully and patiently, allowing us to respond thoughtfully rather than impulsively.
God commands us to love our neighbor as we love ourselves. So, when we face an offense, what's the first question we should ask? “How does God want us to respond?” According to 1 Corinthians 13:4, “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.” By being patient in our speech and asking questions with kindness, we can “be quick to listen” to the one who offended us. This gives us the path to walk out of an offense with anyone.
The Role of Dialogue
My beautiful bride, Michelle, gave me some insight about the importance of dialogue that was crucial for my character development. Understanding and reconciliation are paved when assumptions are replaced with open-minded conversations. Asking a simple question like, “Did you mean to disrupt our discussion?” can open the door to a meaningful conversation that addresses the behavior and fosters mutual respect.
Compassion Starts with Me
When I first read Steve Maraboli’s quote, “A kind gesture can reach a wound that only compassion can heal,” it reminded me of the importance of being a Christ follower. I recognized that we emulate Jesus Christ when we respond to offenses with kindness and a willingness to understand. Although I was the one… wounded, the kind gesture might have to begin with me.
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